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April 1999: Volume 5 Issue 1
In May 1997 my wife Maura woke me early screaming my cars been stolen, my cars been stolen. She had a rally green MG Metro, which she used to get to work, The car, her pride and joy was gone. Maura worked as a care assistant in a nursing home and needed a car to get to work, she went to work that day and left me to sort the stolen car. I replaced her car with an old banger and waited for the insurance payout. Then in July she was driving along a small road in our town. A stolen car turned sharp right and crashed into her car. My wife and daughter Katie were taken to hospital with whiplash, but not detained. Shortly after this, I began to notice that Maura had begun to slur on the odd word, she has a large tongue and I thought it was something to do with that or her bridge. The accident almost forgotten life went on, more words became slurred and I began to think she was drinking during the day. Maura was a very good darts player, captained a man's darts team on Friday nights, and beat male darts players regularly. She began to get moody about this time, more so than usual. She went to the Doctors and began taking HRT. She was 47 and the change of life had started. HRT made her worse so she stopped taking it. We always walked to darts and sometimes she would cross the road as soon as we left the house and wouldn't walk with me. Fine I thought walk by yourself; I could walk very fast and would get to the club before her. I'd get the drinks in and wait for her to arrive. This began to happen more often and was really beginning to annoy me. She started walking home very slowly as well, knowing quite well that she was annoying me. She also began to sit at the bottom of the stairs by the front door at 7o'clock, waiting to out even though it was too early. We went on holiday in August to Gran Canaria and had a good time. Her slurring continued not to an embarrassing degree, but noticeable. Back home and by Christmas it was pretty bad, especially after a drink. In January Maura and our daughter Katie went to watch Tottenham and Barnsley in an FA cup match, a chore for Katie as we both have season tickets at West Ham. On the way home Maura slipped up the stairs on the underground and twisted her leg. From this she developed a limp, but would not stop wearing high-heeled boots, she began to want taxis to and from darts. We used to play matches on Friday. Sunday nights we practised and invariably played doubles. She began to hate being on the losing side and would want to leave early if her partner wasn't good enough. The Sunday nights gradually died off and we stayed in. It was about this time that I stopped eating at home. Dinner was ready to be served at 5 o'clock. I have very difficult job and couldn't always get home for five. Sometimes Maura and Katie would have eaten and my dinner would be in the oven, most times everybody would wait until I got in and we would eat the dinner that had been kept warm in the oven and overcooked. Sometimes when I was oft work she would begin to cook dinner at 2 o'clock and we would eat just after 3o'clock. She also began to cook things in the wrong order. I couldn't put up with the race to get home so I told her I had to work when I got in and not to cook for me. Her slurring got worse and the limp more pronounced. Maura went to the Doctors quite a lot now, always about her leg, I would ask what he said about her speech, nothing was the reply. The next time she went Katie went with her to explain what her problems were. The Doctor was very abrupt and told Katie to be quiet and let her mother do the talking. Katie tried to explain that her mum couldn't talk; but was ignored. They left the surgery near to tears, but with an appointment for leg X-rays, nothing for the speech. Its was now March 1998 and I was worried, her speech was getting really bad, we began to look for a reason, our son found a case in a magazine of woman who had suffered a whiplash injury and developed a condition called dystonia torticollis. This injury caused speech and balance problems but could be cured by a simple operation. I made an appointment with a female Doctor in the hope of a more sympathetic approach; I showed the Doctor the article cut from the magazine. She was very sceptical that it could be torticollis, I think she knew even then that it was far more serious. Maura was referred to a consultant at Kettering Hospital, who couldn't decide what was wrong with her. A series of tests began, including CT and MRI scans. April and into May and her speech was really bad and I was very worried, Maura was unconcerned that she couldn't speak and was only concerned with her leg, which she said was cold. I took her back to the GP; it was arranged to admit her to the neurological ward at Kettering General Hospital for tests. We didn't know and the GP who referred her didn't know that the Neurologist was on holiday. We had a nightmare three days with her in hospital, begging and crying to go home. We were about to give in and take her home, when the Neurologist returned. An examination followed, the Doctor was seeing Maura at her worst; slack jawed, limping and very emotional. I heard him say to his assistant Pseudo Bells Palsy. He wanted to take Maura into the Leicester Royal Infirmary to do further tests. We were due to go holiday in June, he said don't cancel it, we will arrange to bring her in later. I looked up Bells Palsy and knew things were bad. June, we went on holiday to Gran Canaria again, just as the World Cup was starting. Maura couldn't speak in sentences now but knew all the footballers names and in the bar at night she point them out on TV and name them. Going out at night got earlier and earlier. We would be out before most of the bars opened and back to our apartment about ten, most nights without dinner. Our arrangement has always been that I pay for the drinks and she pays for dinner now I was having to get her back to the apartment, then go out and get Pizzas. Holiday over and back home, Maura had been studying for an NVQ in caring, she completed it and passed. She continued to work, although she limped badly and couldn't talk. She went into Leicester Hospital in August and was in for 4 days of tests. The neurologist Dr Lawden said at the end, he thought it was Pick's disease, but that he would refer her to the London Hospital for a conclusive diagnosis. He told me Pick's was a brain disease that killed off some cells, but wouldn't give too many details. I found out for myself. Maura carried on working and driving, I had explained to her boss that she had a brain disease and we were waiting for further tests. She said they knew Maura had a problem, but they had been working round it. Maura began get tired early in the evening and I persuaded her to start sleeping in the afternoon, she was always up at 5.30 am for a 7o'clock start and she needed more sleep. October and she was constantly tired, I knew I should talk to her boss again, but if I did it might bring matters to a head and she may lose the job that meant everything to her. November and an appointment at the London hospital, they also suspected Pick's. I was advised to talk to her boss, but that was too hard for me to do as I was going to be responsible for taking away something from her. She caught Flu in November and had three days off work sick, her first in four years. She also got an ear infection, I took her to the Doctors on a Monday morning 23, November and when we went in I could see the GP willing out a sick note. It happened that my wife's boss had written to the surgery expressing concern and wanting details, which they were given. The GP thought my wife had already been laid off and was giving her a Doctors note for sick leave. When we got back from the surgery there was a letter waiting, it was from her boss; she wanted to meet with us to arrange the kind of work Maura could do. She could no longer be a care assistant but they knew how much her work meant to her and would find her domestic work. We agreed a roster and hours; Maura went once on Saturday 28 November, she had to make beds all day and she never went back. That was also the last day she drove her car, she just ignored it from then on. I have been leaving her at home on her own, while I was at work since then, but I was not comfortable with it. I left her soup to warm in the microwave and rolls to eat. The first week I did this it was fine, I phoned everyday at l o'clock to check she was OK, I left her notes explaining that she should pick up the phone if she had a problem, she never picked up the phone. When I got in from work she would be pleased to see me. I cooked dinner and we all ate together. The second week she ate six tins of soup in two days and picked up the phone, I rushed home but there was no problem, she was just sitting looking out of the window; the TV wasn't on as it usually was. Going to work got harder, getting home was more urgent I was off most of Christmas and someone was here most of the time with her. I have asked for help, it is slow in coming. I went back to work after New Year, but couldn't relax. I'm off sick myself now for a month at least. There is no facility for early onset dementia in this area and the only day care centre is short staffed and can't take her. I'm hoping that during this month Social Services can work a care program and I can go back to work. I also have to sort out the mess she got in with money. She has three credit cards and a bank loan. Recently, after I discovered her debits she allowed me to begin managing her bills and payments. When she last paid her bills by cheque she made all to the cheques out to herself. I have Enduring Power of Attorney now, I got a self completion pack from Eagle Legal Forms Ltd. 3 Kestrel Way, Squires Ride Estate. Buckingham Bucks MKI 8 7HJ and it cost £6.99. Maura has become more childlike over the last few weeks and plays with talking toys - I think this is to attract attention. She has begun to neglect her appearance and sometimes has to be told to wash her hair. Her interest in football remains, but now we have to watch every bit of football that is on TV; I don't think she can follow a plot in a film anymore. Her sounds now are varying types of OHHH, to denote whether she is angry or wants say something. She writes very cryptic notes for me, of one or two words and I have to guess what she is trying to say. She hides the notepads if we get visitors and communicates by smiling or nodding. I find it really strange that that she is calmly accepting all that is happening to her, she can't walk very well, or talk but she seems happy in herself. She seems to enjoy the attention she gets from doctors and nurses. I think she believes I am someone who is here to look after her. I took her to a day centre for old people this week as part of a care package that Social Services are trying to devise and she sat quite happily as though it was meant to be. Cleaning, washing and ironing are things she became compulsive with. We are not allowed to make anything untidy so always tidy up as we go to avoid her banging things and shouting OHHHHHH. We don't go out anymore, a trip to the supermarket is the highlight of the week. In two years Maura has gone from a happy outgoing woman, who had a beautiful voice, with a lovely Irish accent, to the way she is today. I read Frank and Mary's story and couldn't decide how many years Frank suffered, but it was a long time. I now suspect that Maura has had Picks disease since we married in 1981. Things that I thought were just quirks in her nature, such as not talking to me for three or four days, smashing things after a night out and things she would say to people, were all part of this disease. I don't know what the future holds or how long she has left; the not knowing is what makes it harder. Barry Rowley
Business.
Chairman's Speech
Seminar.
Penelope Roques and Carol Jennings
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